spanking,, really???? who knew.. lol

Good evening blog and blogsters... and might I say Happy Holidays to you, as I may not be able to post this weekend.. . So, we are still questing for new couples and still chatting with prospects on SLS.. finding quite a few, but, with scheduling conflicts and upcoming holidays.. it has been difficult. However that does not stop HP from introducing me into the fascinating world of spanking... and I must say.. I really thought I would hate it, but, I have to admit.. this girl LOVED it.. hahhha.....If you would have told me six months ago that I would have fantasies about bending over in a candle lit room with HP behind me and cracking my ass with his leather belt.. with the sound of it hitting my  bare ass reverberating off of the walls, almost like an echo.. I would have told you that you are nuts.. I would never ever enjoy being hit.. are you fucking crazy? It seems almost humiliating to think of it.. or even to say it out loud, however, I have found it to be a bit empowering. It is deffinately NOT for the weak or mild.. hahha.. but, this is just MY opinion.. other people may view this as a ridiculous statement and feel that only a weak person would agree to this.. well to those of  you that think it takes a weak person.. try it.. and see that to take a hell of an ass beating you must have  a certain amount of strength and willingness to give in.  Our first evening of belt spanking was a long lived one to say the least.. we continued well into the morning.. and I did NOT throw in the towel.. If I dare say.. I believe that HP was quite impressed with my ability to keep on going with every whack on the ass.. Hell, I was impressed with myself.. hahhahah..  I did NOT use the safe word, which I will never tell.. hhehe.. until the very end when he asked me to.  We. dozed off and I awoke to one thing only . The words " I wanna fuck you " being whispered in my ear..  My response..  " I wanna fuck you too".. and we did. and hard.... lol..  I did use the safe word then.. hahahha.Now, every time I hear him unbuckling or even  , sadly, putting them BACK on.. heheh.. I get a bit aroused.. I have found that myself I have a hard time explaining to him that I do like it and I dont know how to go about asking him to do it for me.. because, to be honest I get embarrased by it.. I dont know if I am embarrassed that I liked it or just embarrassed to ask?  HMMM.. something to ponder I suppose... I know I shouldnt be, because this is obviously something that he likes to do. and I would love to do it more often... but, I dont want every sexual encounter that he and I share to be with this in mind.. I too still love the soft sensual sex. and thankfully Happy Pants is on that same page with me. I have come to find that we are very much alike in many ways.. and very different in some.  He has proven to be quite the teacher though and quite the partner. His patience and understanding are immense.. cuz. I am quite unknowledgable about this stuff.  hahhaha.. I will text him the silliest questions throughout the day as well... like what is mental bondage? or what is the diff between romantic and regular bondage?  what is shibari/  Is anyone sensing a pattern here?  hahahha...  I do believe that further deeper bondage may be our next step in my learning process and journey. Thank God I am fortunate enough to be with someone that I trust completely to not hurt me and to watch out for my safety and to have patience. I think I may be falling in love with HP.. and that is more then a bit scary.. ughghghgh...